When I was younger, I participated in after school activities and sports trying to find my people; it was often difficult. Surrounded by people that I felt like didn’t “get me,” I would rather sit up in my room, listen to music and create mood boards with torn out pages from my favorite magazines. I didn’t know anyone like me.
As I grew up, I eventually chose to do more “me” things without worrying if I was going to make friends. I found that my tribe expanded exponentially after this happened. There is nothing more nourishing for the mind, body and soul to have good relationships with people. Here are a few ways to find your dream tribe.
1. Figure out what you love to do.
This is the most important part. Ask yourself the hard questions! Who do you want to be around? What type of people do you want in your life? What do like to do on your down time? What’s your ideal day look like? The more you become clear on what will bring you happiness in your life the more clear you will be able to become in manifesting that into your life.
2. Meet people (and remember their names!)
For the most part, people like to talk. And one thing people are really good at talking about, is themselves. So — ask a lot of questions about them. Ask their name and remember it. Hint: I have a “things to remember” notepad on my phone where I add the names of people I meet at coffee shops, restaurants, or just in general and so when I go back to that place I can quickly reference the people who work there. This helps create a stronger relationship and bond. This is how friendships are built.
3. Make coffee dates.
When I was transitioning from a full-time job to freelance I made it a point to invite people that I found inspiring and aspirational out to coffee. I sent 40 emails to people that I would love to learn from with the hope of learning more about them and possibly connecting deeper. From those 40 emails, I went on 25 coffee dates over the course of two weeks. I can now tell you every place in Manhattan that is great for coffee dates but also, that people love to help other people. During these coffee dates, sometimes a friendship bloomed, sometimes they would connect me with their friends or sometimes we ended up talking about working together in the future. Invite people to coffee. It’s a game changer, because who doesn’t love coffee?
4. Attend every event.
It may seem like a lot of time to constantly go to events but this is where you can get the most bang for your buck when it comes to meeting people and networking. This is a very obvious way to meet people who are pretty similar (at least in interests) to you but it’s really one of the best ways to find your people. There are so many people out there that are hosting events, clubs, workshops, retreats so no matter what you like to do – there’s something out there for you! Some of my dream tribe members came from my yoga teacher training course at Yoga Vida, meditation clubs like Medi Club and co-working spaces like Freehold. The secret is to always be in a place that is “you” and you will meet these people. Get out there and surround yourself in the places that make you happy.
5. Ask to be connected to other people.
This is not so obvious tip because it’s not very easy to put yourself out there and ask to be connected to people but this is how the best connections happen. Did you meet someone who is friends with someone you’ve always been inspired by and wanted to meet? Well, ask your new friend to connect you with their friend. Or better yet, invite this person and their friend to an event with you or to coffee. We can only receive those things in our lives that we ask for — so what are you waiting for?