It is now 2017 and things in the dating world have changed. Technology has become the main source of how people connect these days. Through swiping right (or left), many are matching up on dating apps.
For the past five years, I was in a long-term relationship. I watched and listened to my friends going through the trials and tribulations of dating in the digital age, fascinated by their experience on these things.
Here’s how it goes: download the app, choose the perfect pictures, create the best description of yourself — modern day tagline, swipe right and left, match with a ton of people, text them for days, meet up for a drink. And the most fascinating part? There seems to be a science behind finding someone on a a dating app. Just go on YouTube and there are tutorials on the best things to say to someone, when to say hi and how to say it.
I don’t know about you, but to me, this seems really exhausting. So, after I took some time to mend from my heartbreak — with much help from my girlfriends — I decided to date the old fashioned way: meeting people out in the real world, in real world situations with real world conversations.
Here are three tips for making a connection without a dating app:
1. Take time to feel good about yourself.
There is nothing more attractive than someone who is genuinely happy with themselves. You smile in a way that feels authentic, because you are being authentic. For me, I feel good when I am eating right, meditating, exercising and being creative on a daily basis. This takes time and by taking the time for yourself, you will naturally radiate — and attract other people.
2. Be kind and friendly to everyone you meet.
Sure, your heart may be broken but the people in front of you at this bar or coffee shop did not break your heart. So, the best tip I have for people is to be kind. Be friendly. Be nice. Be human. If you are still down about your break up, then don’t try to meet new people yet. The energy you will be bringing to the environment will not be conducive for meeting/attracting the people you want to meet.
3. Stay interested in the world around you.
Meeting someone in real life means that you don’t have the convenience of taking 30 minutes to respond properly to a text message. You have to think on your feet and have some stuff up your sleeve to talk about. The best dating conversation is about things that are relevant and interesting in today’s world. Don’t isolate yourself. Instead, stay active and interested in the pop culture, the news, new hobbies etc. Keep up with what people are watching at the movies or on TV, or the newest best selling book. Whatever interests you.