The Blame Game

Finger pointing, name calling, denial. Whatever the form, a lot of us will do whatever it takes in order to avoid taking responsibility for what is happening around us. It’s called the blame game, and unfortunately, a lot of us are really good at it.

The car is on empty? My husband was supposed to fill it up. Great. Now I’m going to be late.

Late for a deadline? If only I wasn’t so busy with all the other things going on in my life.

These jeans don’t fit me. Why couldn’t I just go on a diet and stick to it like I said I would? Now I can’t wear these jeans. Ugh!

The blame game comes in many different forms, but it always leads back to the same underlying truth: when we blame other people, other things, other circumstances – and even ourselves – for what is happening to us, we are not taking personal responsibility for how we found ourselves in the current situation.

We blame things on circumstance, situations, friends, bad parenting, and anything under the sun. The reality is that there is no need to blame anyone, including yourself. Because blaming is a big waste of time. It’s not productive, and it doesn’t lead anywhere positive. When things happen in our lives that are less than ideal – big and small – all we need to be is honest with ourselves about the situation. What role did we play in getting there? And how can I avoid doing this again? We need to take responsibility and make better decisions. We alone are responsible for our lives and create it with every decision we make. And when we blame someone else for whatever is happening to us, we effectively tell the universe that we are not in the driver’s seat of our own lives –  that someone else is in control.

So the next time you are tempted to blame something that is happening to you on anyone or anything, check in with yourself to see how you got into the situation in the first place. Where did this thought come from? And why are you thinking it? A lot of the time our childhood experiences set the tone for what we think we deserve in this lifetime, so that’s a good place to start. Your mind is powerful and will create what you believe you deserve – good or bad – positive or negative. So choose your thoughts wisely.